Today is one of those days where, were it still November, I would be frantically trying to write the bare minimum words on my project. As it is, I could just skip today, but in the interest of maintaining my chain of writing at least the minimum words every day, NaNo or no, I’m now frantically trying to bash out a 350 word blog post instead.
The thing is, my head is reeling with ideas for my next project. Character interactions, key scenes, the pressing decision of whether to combine two characters or have them separate (I swing back and forth on this issue every day, leaning towards having them separate at the moment – I like the idea of the progression it would give one of the characters, more so if I took her elements and combined her with another) all these things are spinning round in my mind, keeping me occupied while I potter around doing odd jobs.
The only problem is, the things keeping me busy are not odd jobs. They require focus and concentration. I have a deadline for tomorrow and I’ve done about half the work for it. I have until lunch tomorrow, but I know every second sat typing this is a second away from that work I could (should) be doing.
Not that I would be using those seconds effectively. I’m so tired of bringing work home that I’m not efficient. I waste time and procrastinate. Typing this is a welcome break from feeling guilty about not getting on.
I sometimes wonder if I could ever come to feel this way about writing, were I to be fortunate enough to be able to write full time. Book deadlines would be just as arduous, perhaps? But then, I never felt bored doing NaNo. Under incredible pressure, yes, and there were some days that the words weren’t coming as fast as I would have liked. But I never didn’t enjoy it. Even when the writing was bad, it was still creating, still doing something I love. Something I don’t think about dedicating hours to.
So, I need to get on with my job now, as that is officially 350 words. No more procrastination. When work is done, maybe I can get back on with planning and writing.