So I was whinging the other day about having no motivation and generally being a bit stressed, anxious and depressive. I’m usually a bit stressed and depressive, but my mother once said I was ‘the most cheerful miserable b*stard’ she’d ever met. I like to think that’s a sort of backwards compliment, and if there’s one thing I know about myself it’s this: I know I have depressive tendencies, but I really hate it, and I like to snap out of it as quickly as possible.
Sometimes all it takes is a good book.
I read the sort of book that I wished I’d written the other day. It wasn’t particularly groundbreaking, technically impressive, or beautifully written. It was fairly standard YA Fantasy, but I really enjoyed it, loving the concept and the characters. It was fun to read and I imagine it was a whole lot of fun to write.
And it got me thinking. Not about any story idea related to the book except in the remotest ways, but it was inspiration, and it was enough to get the ideas flowing, and to turn my brain off ‘I can’t do it’ mode, onto ‘let’s write some words!’ mode.
I feel a lot better already.
I’m also stepping up my self-publishing agenda, so it is being prepared alongside my attempts at traditional publishing. That way if I’m unsuccessful, or just decide I don’t like what small press publishers have to offer, then I can launch into self-publishing with minimal delay. I’m starting by rethinking my cover – doing some research this time. Posts will be appearing on the subject soon, if that sort of thing interests you.
I want to hold onto this rejuvenated feeling and really start getting on with things. Inactivity and letting my multiple To-Do lists pile up is probably one of the most major factors in my staying in a depressive funk, even if it usually has little to nothing to do with getting into the funk in the first pace.
So the new story idea is incentive. It’s nothing like what I normally write, but I’m really excited about it, and I’m going to say no more. I was supposed to be writing something about aliens (sorry, UWC!) but I’m going to jump on this new project while I’m fired up about it. So, I’m not allowed to write it until I do my jobs for the day, that way I’ll have to be organised and motivated if I ever want to get round to giving voice to these characters. My progress bar is on my Scrib profile, so you can see how successful I manage to be at that.
I’m realistic. Between the running and work and everything else, I don’t have much time, and I’ll need to keep up with reading and other stuff as well, but if I could do between 1500-3000 words a week, I will be really really pleased.
And it will be hard to feel depressive if I’m feeling so pleased with myself. At least, that’s the new plan.