So I’ve just had my first rejection email.
I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a sharp stab of pain when I opened it and saw the words ‘not looking to take it forward’ referring to the manuscript I was so proud of, felt I’d done a good job on, loved dearly. I don’t really take rejection well, in general. I’m the sort of person who feels a sharp stab of betrayal if I’m turned down for a book on NetGalley. But I’m feeling surprisingly philosophical about this. (At the time of writing – this posts two days after due to already scheduled posts. We’ll see how I feel in two days time…) In a way I’m kind of pleased.
Right now I feel like a toddler who’s got the hang of standing, but needs to take those first tentative steps before she can walk. I took one, I fell, but I know I’ll get back up again, persist. And though I fell, it was still a step. Still progress.
Before recently, I’ve never really felt ‘ready’ to throw my work out there to the sharks. Everything I wrote was better than things I’d written before, that I was sure of. I was finishing things more consistently. I was starting to want to polish, improve, re-write. But while the dream of publishing was still burning in my mind, it was a slow burn – a distant fire I wasn’t ready to feed just yet.
Now I really feel I am. February to April has been dedicated to editing for my part in our Unnofficial Writer’s Club agenda, and I’m going to work hard to polish a YA manuscript that I think is going to be the one I take a chance on submitting to agents. In the mean time I’ll keep looking for avenues to publish my Novella – avenues I didn’t even know existed until a few weeks ago. I’ll look into Amazon Createspace, as was always the original plan.
I’ve asked for feedback from the publisher. Perhaps my voice and storyline aren’t suited to their tastes, perhaps there were too many careless errors that I didn’t manage to spot. Perhaps it just wasn’t good enough. I might never know.
But, I know my synopsis and first chapter were good enough to generate interest and a full manuscript request – and that’s something. Maybe next time I try walking, I’ll get a little bit further.