Guns Are Sexy. Sometimes.

It is a sad fact that right now, despite things supposedly ‘winding down’ at work right now, not helped by a series of busy weekends, I am so thoroughly exhausted that I’ve barely been able to lift my backside from the sofa most nights.

Which means instead of writing, blogging, reading, music, visiting friends I’ve not seen for months, and all those other things that generally make life interesting and enjoyable, I have been limited by my severely compromised mental capacity to watching reruns of Primeval, 80s sci-fi films and Supernatural.

While this is not particularly conducive to having a life, or general progress on the ‘I am not an adolescent nerd’ scale, it has made me realise something.

Guns are seriously sexy.

Sometimes.

The ‘sometimes’ part of this realisation is due to the fact that almost everything I watch is science fiction or fantasy. I hate war films, I generally hate crime films (with a few notable exceptions, such as the excellent Silence of the Lambs, and the less excellent but still entertaining Smokin’ Aces (I have a serious girl crush on Alicia Keys…)) and while I could play Halo for hours, you won’t catch me on Call of Duty unless I’m facing down some Nazi Zombies.

The reason for this is I really don’t like guns being used against people. I don’t care if they are evil bad guys, soldiers battling to free a country from dictatorship or whatever – it doesn’t do anything for me. If I don’t find it quite horrible, I generally find it boring.

My cousin nagged and nagged at me, once upon a time when we were small enough to still have sleepovers, to watch his favourite film, Saving Private Ryan. Apart from having a serious crush on the sniper dude (which had more to do with his turn in the Green Mile than anything) I really didn’t enjoy the film. I just didn’t get it. Why would I want to watch two hours of people shooting at each other? I see enough of that on the news.

So this picture (aside from the fact that it is Josh Duhamel) really shouldn’t do anything for me. Soldier = not hot. In much the same way as firemen are not hot. In fact, for a while the Boyfriend entertained the idea of joining the RAF as a firefighter, and while I would have supported him if he had been successful, I couldn’t help feeling a little glad he didn’t get through. Despite his constant insistence that he wouldn’t be a front line soldier, and his job would largely be less dangerous (less fires) than the one he does now, a part of my brain couldn’t get past the thought that being in the Armed Forces equates to getting shot at. Not good.

But I digress, back to Josh Duhamel. The image should not be attractive, but, the fact that weapon (bazooka? Rocket launcher?) is pointed at a GIANT TRANSFORMING EVIL ROBOT suddenly makes it very sexy.

Similarly, I could watch the Winchesters stalk around abandoned buildings, guns before them all day. Guns loaded with bullets to kill people? Not cool. Guns loaded with rocksalt to take on ghosts? I think you’re probably sensing a pattern here.

And if I had to chose a weapon for use in battles against paranormal, alien or robotic enemies, it would have to be the shotgun. How cool is it when Kyle Reese takes on the Terminator with a shotgun in the first film? It’s the ultimate zombie fighting weapon, too. Perfect for the first person shooter of my particular talents, who can only generally aim at the sky or the floor with any consistency, but that’s another matter.

And because I’m feeling gratuitous, have a picture of my favourite shot gun wielding boy. I couldn’t find a picture of my favourite moment: Becker and shotgun vs. Giganotosaurus, so have a picture of Becker and shotgun vs. gigantic future ants instead:

I do occasionally entertain thoughts about trying to shoot a gun myself. There must be some sort of adventure experience where you can learn how to fire a gun. Or clay pigeon shooting or something. It would be in the name of research, of course – I write fantasy/science fiction, and often have characters that wield guns. But then I remember that guns are actually scary and dangerous and the desire goes away. Until I watch Torchwood or something again.

Of course, I know for a fact that if I was ever handed a gun, the first (and likely only) thing I would do would be this:

(This post was written under the influence of extreme exhaustion. I apologise for any blathering and general incoherency.)